Have S'more Sloppy Joes

Today, we salute a long-lost friend of my appetite: The Sloppy Joe.

Lets start with a brief, subjectively-recalled history of this main dish:

1993: Somewhere in Webster, NY, a young Maddy Varno is served sloppy joes in the Schlegel Road School lunch room.  Later that evening, she comes home and asks, "Momma, why can't you cook like the school cafeteria?"

Crazy sloppy joes lady

1995: Billy Madison is released in theaters.  Movie-watchers everywhere witness the crazy cafeteria lady saying "Have s'more schloppy joes.  I made'em extra sloppy for ya!" Then, everyone laughs maniacally, and Billy says, "Lady, you're scaring us!"

2002: Maddy is diagnosed with Celiac disease, sloppy joes are exiled from her diet because mom wasn't eager to make a GF replacement after the whole "why can't you cook like the school" comment.

Hoagies and grinders,
navy beans navy beans
sloppy joes, sloppy sloppy joes

2004: An environmental science teacher shows the class The Best of Chris Farley on SNL instead of teaching that day.  Maddy is exposed to "Lunch Lady Land" by Adam Sandler.

2010: Maddy requests sloppy joes for her birthday dinner.  Her family acts slightly appalled, and I am required to choose a different meal.  I settled for eggplant parm. :(

I present: last night's dinner

2011: Alex and Maddy, while strolling through Wegmans in Pittsford, NY, walk past a can of Manwich.  "Sloppy joes for dinner," I demand!

So, last night, I dug my face into some sloppy joes and ended up with sauce all over my nose, forehead, and shirt (We just made Manwich and I ate it on Udi's bread).  It was very satisfying for my quarter-life crisis, which has been to find a gluten-free alternative for my childhood favorites.  What should I tackle next? Mozzarella sticks are a possibility, but honestly, I'm waiting for someone to come out with frozen ones.  Can someone tell me why nobody has done this yet? baaaaa

 

For anyone interested, I would love to dress up like a cafeteria food and prance around.

Oh, on another note, my blog address is now MaddyVarno.com.  I'm working on getting my portfolio of writing samples up on portfolio.maddyvarno.com.  To all 4 of my loyal readers, I thank you for your continued support!