I dedicate this post to everyone who has told me "You're not a nerd"

This week, much like every other week, I have consumed a lot of bagels. I prefer my bagel-per-day rate to be at least one. I think it's important to note that I hate Udi's bagels and the more I think about it, most their products aren't that great. They make a good sandwich bread. The rest is just marketing and you're all shmucks for falling for it. I prefer either Kinnikinnickinickicnicnikinckindcick (Kinnikinnick) bagels or Glutino because I think they taste the best.

Why I like bagels

• Glutino bagels are delicious
• You can slice them up and make GF bagel chips (8 mins at 425)
• They make a perfectly acceptable breakfast, lunch or dinner, lupper, brunch or snack
• When I was little, we would get (gluten) bagels from this place called Bagel Land and I'd eat like 10 for breakfast
• Bagel Land still exists and if any gluten-eaters in Rochester wanted to get Bagel Land bagels, I would like to watch you eat ten bagels from there for my vicarious enjoyment

On another note:

Mrs. Beast (my car) needs repair. The check engine light came on for the first time since I obtained the car in December. This startled me for two reasons.

1) The last time I was driving and the check engine light came on was in my old car when the head gasket blew and I had to hitch a ride home with someone from New Jersey
2) Unlike my old car's "CHECK ENGINE SOON" warning, this car illuminates a yellow engine icon.

On the illuminated engine icon: Is that really what the engine looks like?! I prefer to imagine my car's engine looking all shiny and cool, like the one Danny Zuco rides on while singing Greased Lighning in my top-10 favorite movie of all time, Grease. I prefer to imagine my car at all times having a young John Travolta under the hood, clad in tight leather pants sitting on top of the engine surrounded by other singing and dancing men. Unfortunately, my imagined perception has been altered by this engine icon.

Help castle.

Why, do you ask? Becasue the check engine burns images of Super Mario 3 (NES game) into my brain. AHH! No! I was immediately flooded with memories of trying to beat the "Help" castle at the end of each land and failing miserably by something stupid like accidentally getting smooshed between the Koopa and the wall right before I was about to jump on him the 3rd time and win. Nooooo I have died! Cue the "fail" music, Mario's neck dissapears into the rest of his body and he flies off the screen, then the game returns to the main world where all the boards are shown.  What happens next? The ship FLIES AWAY, ZOoooooooooooooooom and does something stupid like land between two boards that I need to beat all over again because I died all the way or found a different route to the castle. 

Where am I going with this?

My check engine light looks exactly like the ship after it flies out of the castle.

End guy in Bubble Bobble. Leprechaun that
hurls whiskey bottles.

What other awesome games have I beat before on NES? Bubble Bobble. The end guy was a giant leprechaun that hurled whiskey bottles. I feel this is relevant to mention because St. Patrick's Day is next week.